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Posted by / 23-Dec-2020 13:14

I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped.

But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress. Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me.

One thing I've come to understand, through my own relationship, is that for people who are really working at commitment, a relationship quickly ceases to be a political statement.

There is certainly part of me that feels my partnership with a black woman says something about me. The problem is that no committed person goes to bed with black spouse or a white spouse.

By her own reckoning Jill Scott's friend is "new." All she knows about him is that he's nice-looking, well compensated and loves his mother.

He could have a trail of baby momma's from Oakland to Kansas City.

My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.

Scott goes on to detail the history of black women, racist degradation, and beauty standards. But I think the key problem here is a common one--a kind of collectivist approach toward something as individual and private as marriage.

He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman."Black people" didn't support me while I was trying to make it a writer.An individual, with her own specific hopes, dreams and problems, did those things. But the qualities that allowed her to do those things--compassion, commitment, vision--are not "black" qualities. But we often take this abstract, hazy view of an institution that, like anything else worthwhile, is mostly about dirt, work and tedium.The data relating to real estate for sale in this web site comes in part from the Internet Data exchange (“IDX”) program of SFAR MLS, Inc.Real estate listings held by brokers other than Sotheby's International Realty ® are marked with the IDX logo.

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