Most people like to know that a person is a serious contender before they introduce you to these people in their lives,” she says.There is one thing that can stand in between you and your dating goals and that’s your dating expectations. I focused too much on what I wanted and what I was looking for that I forget to enjoy the process. Some people just want to enjoy someone’s company, some just want sex, some want a companion, while others are looking for a life partner, or marriage. Well, we like to be in control of our lives and our situations. We all have an idea about how our lives should be and how things should turn out and when they don’t we can’t really handle it and stress ourselves out trying to get it where we want when in reality we are forcing something that just isn’t meant to be. How many times do you try and manipulate a situation to get a someone to like you or want to be with you? You’ve tried playing hard to get, you’ve tried giving them everything they said they want, but really where did that get you? You should never have to force it, it should just BE.It is a time to figure out if you like that person and whether or not you want to keep going.”Every phone call, text message, Instagram or Facebook post seems so pivotal and life-altering when you really, really like someone.You try your best to decipher what they really mean and you might even have a freakout moment when your date doesn’t respond ASAP.Putting expectations onto your date only complicates things and sets you up to get hurt,” Patt tells Bustle.
I can’t MAKE someone fall in love with me, nor can I manipulate the situation to work in my favor.
You manage your dating expectations by going with the flow. You also need to put that list of wants and don’t wants aside when managing your dating expectations. You need to know what it is that’s important, such as common values and ethics, and know what’s your “nice to have”.
To me, attraction and a connection with the other person is key, as well as ambition. Also, I think of a new prospect like a puzzle piece, I ask myself if they really truly fit into my life’s puzzle or if I would have to force it. Things always fall in place where they’re supposed to. After my divorce, I learned that I can’t control everything that happens to me.
Taking a break from talking allows you to decide if you miss talking to the person.
It also ensures that you aren’t jumping into anything too quickly,” Patt notes.
I love seeing someone excited about what they are doing, to have goals and to achieve them. Regardless of how hot they are or how successful or how they make me feel, I need to make sure they are the right person for me and that takes time. That, my friends, is how I manage MY dating expectations. Although I have an idea of where I want to be, I can’t plan out my life and expect it all to fall into place in a nice neat package.