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Women who feel otherwise are the reason we get paid 89 cents to their dollar.

But I realize that I’m a young(ish) woman, and biology is a factor, sure.

Like height or body type, age is one of those strange things about a person that we know they can’t help, but nevertheless handily use to write them off.

If you dismiss people because of their personalities or because you’re on some kind of baby-making timetable, fine, fair enough.

Some old people are hot, some young people are not. I don’t like to think about kids or how old someone will be when I’m 35, because I try not to fixate on a guy’s mortality until after he’s met my parents.

I contend that as long as nobody is being willfully creepy (I see you, guys in Ferrari hats), this kind of limitation is mega lame.

But if you’re not into someone because of the arbitrary time in which their parents created them—well, more tasty imperfect flesh for the rest of us.

Admittedly, I prefer older guys, only because they tend to be fully fused, like a human skull.

From a sexual attraction standpoint, I challenge you to stand me shirtless next to Sophia Loren in Look, Steely Dan probably couldn’t talk at all to "Hey Nineteen" because they admittedly had "nothing in common." Not because she was too young to name an Aretha Franklin song (which, like, come ON, Steely Dan); the idea that people are what pop culture references they know reduces falling in love to trading trivia. A lot of women have told me they won’t date younger men because of maturity issues, and that’s probably where the idea of a prohibitive "age gap" comes into play for a lot of people.

As anybody who’s ever had to play "What are your top five favorite movies? A fantastic woman several years my senior recently told me I should only date older men, because even though I’m 28, "being in your twenties is a form of functional retardation." I think there’s a grain of truth there, if only because I don’t know anybody who looks back and thinks, "Man, how awesome was I in my twenties?

When you completely remove personality and individual experience from the equation and rely exclusively on stuff like "young," "blue eyes," and "no glasses," you end up with Robert, that weirdo in the beret.